Which is better? The 1998 animated film My Neighbor Totoro or a slice of bread fresh out of the oven. Can Hayao Miyazaki’s cozy hit take down the current Best Thing Ever? Let’s see:

• Pro: The movie is perfect and holds up 100%. Ezra’s kids watched this multiple times in rapt attention despite the fact that big parts of the movie include waiting for a tree to grow, standing at a bus stop, and going to school.
• Pro: Totoro is full of the most adorable things. You got soot spreaders, three sizes of Totoro and a cat bus. You even have Mei, the most kid-like kid that has ever kidded. It’s so good, Totoro doesn’t even have to show up in the first act for his own movie.
• Pro: If you like any studio Ghibli film it’s because of Totoro. This fluffy troll bear sold over a billion dollars worth of merch and secured the studio’s future so it could make Kiki’s Delivery Service, Princess Mononoke, and Spirited Away. This goes double for Princess Mononoke since Miyazaki’s “girl befriends a forest spirit” started with Totoro. Miyazaki was just like, Mei and Totoro? Yeah, run it back, but this time drink more wolf blood.

But it’s not all good news for Totoro.

• Con: The sick mom gets better with the healing power of corn. Which means it’s just another propaganda piece by Big Veggie, pushing its pro-plant agenda.
• Con: Totoro looks like he’s seen some shit. He’s got that thousand yard stare of a kid who caught his parents boinking, slowly backed away and never blinked again. Also, since he’s the most cuddly thing, who’s going to cuddle him? You need an even bigger Totoro, then it’s Totoros all the way up.
• Con: it’s gonna be hard being the best thing ever when it’s not even be the best Ghibli movie ever. Porco Rosso is my new favorite and I’ve only ever seen the poster!

This is a real tough one but we just can’t quite unseat bread. Totoro looks and sounds better, but fresh bread tastes, smells and feels better, since it’s actually fluffy and Totoro is just pictures of fluffy.

What do you think? And where will “Playing Halo with the boys” fall on the list?